You're sitting in a movie theatre and just as the lights go down, you could swear you see Peaseblossom making out with a strange dude. You: Think it's sweet that you're so excited about the wedding that it seems like you're seeing Peaseblossom everywhere. Think it's weird that Peaseblossom's identical twin sister is in town for the wedding, but she's never mentioned her to you before. Think it's hot that it turns out that Peaseblossom is a slut so you grope your way back to them in the dark so you can get in on it. Forget about it because you get distracted by Jonny making out with a hooker in the seat next to you. Next Question   Jonny shows up at your door in the middle of the night blind drunk and begs for you to let him sleep it off on your couch. You: Make up the couch, charmed that Jonny is getting his boyish hijinx out of his system before he ties the knot. Make up the couch, but give Jonny a lecture on the evils of drink before you'll let him go to sleep. Tell Jonny to go somplace else to sleep it off because you've got a hooker in your bedroom. Tell Jonny to go somplace else to sleep it off because you've got Peaseblossom in your bedroom. Next Question   The day before Jonny and Peaseblossom's wedding you discover that she has $250,000 in unpaid students loans, credit card debt and delinquent taxes that Jonny knows nothing about. You: Pay off the debt yourself as a wedding present. Alert the IRS and the district attorney's office so that she can immediately begin paying her debt to society. Show up at Peaseblossom's door that night with a packet of condoms and some KY Jelly and promise that you won't say a word in exchange for two hours of her acting out The Kama Sutra with you. Charge another fifty grand on her credit card and send an anonymous letter to Jonny saying that she's $300,000 in debt. Next Question   It's Jonny's birthday on December 15th. Your gift to him is: An extra large bottle of Grey Goose vodka and two straws that he can share with Peaseblossom. An embroidered wall hanging that reads "God bless our happy home" that he can share with Peaseblossom. Matching latex BDSM ensembles with color-coordinated ball gags that he can share with Peaseblossom. A gift certificate to the prostitute of his choosing. Next Question  A teenage kid who looks exactly like Jonny shows up at your door claiming to be his illegitimate son. You: Offer to set him up with a college scholarship if he'll agree to leave and never come back. Call the clergyman who's performing the ceremony and tell him that the kid's mother will replace Peaseblossom as the bride so that the poor child can be legitimized. Ask for the kid's mother's phone number because you figure if she'll bang Jonny, she'll bang anybody. Tell him to just show up at the wedding ceremony with all of Jonny's other bastards.