Taking a Wikileak

Donald J. Trump, who in less than a week assumes the office once held by Abraham Lincoln amidst a flurry of accusations that he was unfairly (and perhaps illegally) aided in his campaign by groups as diverse as the Russian government and the FBI. The most sensational tidbit to come out of this national nightmare is an unverified collection of memos written by a former British secret service agent which claims that the Russian government has information on Mr. Trump which could make him the target of blackmail during his administration, including one especially lurid episode where he engaged Russian prostitutes to urinate on a bed previously slept in by Michelle Obama. Mr. Trump claims that even if the Russians did engage in cyber-terrorism during the campaign he won fair and square, conveniently overlooking the fact that he made great use of the information gleaned in the cyber-attacks during his campaign after it was provided to Wikileaks. What's more, it's become known that the James Bond who wrote the memos while in the employ of unspecified clients trying to find damning information on Mr. Trump provided his findings about the real estate baron's golden shower antics to the FBI in October, who did nothing with the information even while they were sending out press releases a few days before the election about e-mails related to Hillary Clinton on Antony Weiner's laptop which, after the damage was done in the voting public's minds, they admitted didn't exist. I don't know if Mr. Trump is into golden showers or not but it's rapidly becoming clear that he and his billionaire cronies took a Wikileak all over the voting public's face while we were considering presidential candidates and we can't take this lying down. It would make it too easy for the Russian prostitutes to take another piss on our faces if we did and we're on the verge of drowning as it is.


National treasure Meryl Streep, who used the occasion of her acceptance speech for a lifetime achievement award from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association to shame Mr. Trump for his infamous mocking of a disabled reporter while on the campaign trail and to appeal to the public to support groups that oppose his fascist agenda. Mr. Trump has been claiming since the incident happened that he was never mocking the reporter for his disability despite the fact that it was captured on video and he comes off a schoolyard bully victimizing a younger boy for showing up for class wearing a bow tie. Anyone who has seen Ms. Streep work knows that she doesn't contain an ounce of bullshit and I applaud her for using her pulpit to point out that Donald Trump is made of the stuff. She has no shortage of awards and needs another honor like a hole in the head (or, to paraphrase Mr. Trump, "a hole in her whatever"). To date, she has accumulated a record 19 Academy Award nominations and three Oscars, as well as enough other golden trophies to melt them down and refinish the walls of the president -elect's Trump Towers apartment. But if she's going to use her acceptance speeches to call out this asshole for what he is, they can give her the next Nobel Prize for Economics as far as I'm concerned.


Civil rights icon Congressman John Lewis, who announced that he didn't "see this president-elect as a legitimate president" because of concerns that Russia may have assisted Mr. Trump's presidential bid. In true Trump fashion, the president-elect responded by tweeting that Mr. Lewis should spend more time helping his "crime invested" district, instead of "falsely complaining about the election results." This is a typical tactic of Mr. Trump to blithely discredit his critics via Twitter rather than responding to the criticism they assign him. He answered Ms. Streep's speech by calling her an "overrated actress," which is akin to calling J.S. Bach an "overrated composer." Now to lash out at Mr. Lewis, who literally put his life on the line in the defense of his principles, illustrates yet again that Mr. Trump is only equipped to throw mud rather than talk about issues like a mature adult. I don't know as yet whether Russia had anything to do with Mr. Trump's election but I am forced to agree with Senator Lewis that he is illegitimate. He is, after all, a bastard.


Martin Luther King, Jr,, whose birthday we celebrate this Monday. While I respect Dr. King's accomplishments, my favorite aspect of his holiday was that it served as a speed-bump three-day weekend before returning to the rut of five-day work weeks after the blissful period between Thanksgiving and New Years. But with the bullying tangerine about to enter the presidency, I'm compelled to look to Dr. King's model of peaceful civil resistance to ensure the welfare of our democracy. The good doctor had his own issues with the presidents he dealt with during his lifetime but I can only imagine the type of shit Mr. Trump would tweet about him:

Happy birthday, Dr. King. We need you more now than ever.